Mutual Respect

Au Pair means “on par” or equal. The Au Pair is considered a member of the family during the temporary period of the Au Pair stay. It refers to a cultural exchange for a young person from a foreign country that lives with a Host family. It’s important the Host family care for their Au Pair the way they want to be cared for as a young adult living in someone else’s home in another country. Remember that the Au Pair is a young adult, their behavior will be appropriate for their age group. Things will be strange or unfamiliar for them so be a good support and guide system for them. The Host family respecting their Au Pair will give their children an example of how to respect them. 

Patience and Understanding

Building a strong relationship takes time. Both the Host family and the Au Pair should exercise patience and understanding, particularly during the adjustment period. Recognizing and empathizing with each other’s challenges and experiences can help foster a compassionate and supportive dynamic.


Building a good relationship with the Au Pair is important. It’s necessary for the Host family to listen to the needs of their Au Pair and state their needs as well. They will both have to compromise from there to help build a successful relationship. The Host family and Au Pair need to keep communicating about their needs until they both feel comfortable and happy with the compromises. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Both of them will have to cooperate on how they will be explaining the things to the kids. This will make it easier for them to be consistent and prevent conflicts. Children learn things easier when the people living with them explain things in a consistent manner. It’s also important that the Host family sit down with the Au Pair and talk about discipline. Both of them will have to discipline the children in the same way so the children won’t get confused on what they are being taught. With that, It is recommended the Host family keeps a clear schedule and expectations for the Au Pair when it comes to everyday tasks and childcare. 

Cultural Exchange 

Embracing and valuing cultural exchange enriches the relationship between a Host family and the Au Pair. Both parties can learn from each other’s customs, traditions, and languages. Engaging in cultural activities, sharing experiences, and fostering an inclusive environment contributes to a positive connection.

Check In Meetings

It would be wise for the Host family to set up weekly check in meetings with their Au Pair. 

This will be the perfect opportunity for all of them to sit together and discuss any concerns, answer any questions, and how to go on moving forward. Weekly check in meetings will prevent any unresolved feelings or questions. 

If the Host family and Au Pair can incorporate these qualities into the relationship, they will create a bond that could last a lifetime! Remember, every relationship is unique, and successful dynamics can vary. It’s important for both the Host family and the Au Pair to actively contribute to the relationship, nurture mutual understanding, and work together to create a positive and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.