Fundamental qualities for a successful relationship between an Au Pair and Host family

Mutual Respect

Au Pair means “on par” or equal. The Au Pair is considered a member of the family during the temporary period of the Au Pair stay. It refers to a cultural exchange for a young person from a foreign country that lives with a Host family. It’s important the Host family care for their Au Pair the way they want to be cared for as a young adult living in someone else’s home in another country. Remember that the Au Pair is a young adult, their behavior will be appropriate for their age group. Things will be strange or unfamiliar for them so be a good support and guide system for them. The Host family respecting their Au Pair will give their children an example of how to respect them. 

Patience and Understanding

Building a strong relationship takes time. Both the Host family and the Au Pair should exercise patience and understanding, particularly during the adjustment period. Recognizing and empathizing with each other’s challenges and experiences can help foster a compassionate and supportive dynamic.

Communication

Building a good relationship with the Au Pair is important. It’s necessary for the Host family to listen to the needs of their Au Pair and state their needs as well. They will both have to compromise from there to help build a successful relationship. The Host family and Au Pair need to keep communicating about their needs until they both feel comfortable and happy with the compromises. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Both of them will have to cooperate on how they will be explaining the things to the kids. This will make it easier for them to be consistent and prevent conflicts. Children learn things easier when the people living with them explain things in a consistent manner. It’s also important that the Host family sit down with the Au Pair and talk about discipline. Both of them will have to discipline the children in the same way so the children won’t get confused on what they are being taught. With that, It is recommended the Host family keeps a clear schedule and expectations for the Au Pair when it comes to everyday tasks and childcare. 

Cultural Exchange 

Embracing and valuing cultural exchange enriches the relationship between a Host family and the Au Pair. Both parties can learn from each other’s customs, traditions, and languages. Engaging in cultural activities, sharing experiences, and fostering an inclusive environment contributes to a positive connection.

Check In Meetings

It would be wise for the Host family to set up weekly check in meetings with their Au Pair. 

This will be the perfect opportunity for all of them to sit together and discuss any concerns, answer any questions, and how to go on moving forward. Weekly check in meetings will prevent any unresolved feelings or questions. 

If the Host family and Au Pair can incorporate these qualities into the relationship, they will create a bond that could last a lifetime! Remember, every relationship is unique, and successful dynamics can vary. It’s important for both the Host family and the Au Pair to actively contribute to the relationship, nurture mutual understanding, and work together to create a positive and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.

Compensating Your Au Pair

Compensating Your Au Pair in Canada:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS POCKET MONEY!

Canada. Money Sign

We’ve been hearing too frequently lately from “experienced” host families who have never issued a pay stub or remitted to Revenue Canada… not to mention the families who still think that compensating their beloved Au Pair with “pocket money” is fair and reasonable.  Say what?????  Families and Au Pairs have reached out to us after realizing that they need our help figuring things out.  In short, Host Families are employers as far as the government is concerned and thus have a responsibility to report their Au Pair’s income and pay according to provincial guidelines.

 Tips Regarding Paying Your Au Pair

  1. You MUST compensate your Au Pair with at least the minimum provincial hourly wage.
  2. You MUST provide your Au Pair with a paystub every pay period that shows all compensation and deductions to date (including CPP, EI and any agreed upon Room and Board) as well as hours worked, rate of pay and any vacation/overtime.
  3. If room and board is deducted (which is legal if your Au Pair has an IEC Working Holiday Visa but not if your Au Pair has a temporary foreign worker Caregiver Visa) it MUST be stated in the Au Pair/Host Family contract and must not be more than the provincial maximum for live-in care.
  4. If you do not deduct room and board, you MUST account for this when calculating payroll as room and board is considered by CRA to be a “taxable benefit” for your Au Pair.  Taxable benefits must be reported to CRA (transit passes and cell phones are another example of taxable benefits).
  5. Your Au Pair MUST have a social insurance number (this will be required in order to issue her T4 in February) and you will need the Au Pair’s SIN when inputting your own childcare claim on your annual  tax return.
  6. You MUST make regular remittances to CRA.  Remittances include employee/employer contributions toward CPP and EI as well as any income tax deducted.
  7. Pay your Au Pair via e-transfer – never cash.  This way you have a record of payment.
  8. You MUST issue your Au Pair a Record of Employment when she finishes her contract… it’s the law!  You will also have to complete a T4 before the end of February for the previous tax year.  You may be penalized by Service Canada and CRA for not submitting appropriate paperwork on time.
  9. Ensure all agreed upon compensation is detailed in your Au Pair/Host Family contract.  This includes your agreement on holiday pay (paid time off or 4% per pay period for example), hourly wages, bonuses, other incentives…

We can help!

Canadian Au Pair Solutions can help if you are lost or confused about any of the above.  Our Memberships provide step by step guidance.  Our Document Library helps you navigate the employer component of hosting an Au Pair.  We provide you with such things as sample contracts, instructions on creating a T4 and ROE as well as how to set up your Business Account with CRA.  The list of things we can do for you is endless and we are confident that we can answer any and all of your questions Au Pair-related.  Contact us for more information on our Memberships and which option is right for you.

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We’ve found the perfect Au Pair, BUT…

Application

Some families who have hosted more than one Au Pair may be familiar with this story… you get plenty of applications and you think you’ve found “the one.”  Your first few email conversations go extremely well and you are excited that you may have found the perfect applicant.  Then she drops the bomb… she ______ (insert appropriate selection… “has food allergies” or  “has a serious boyfriend“).  Now what?  Do you just accept it because everything else about her is exactly what you were looking for or do you continue your search?

Dairy productsFood allergies… although seemingly not a huge concern, food allergies can make things difficult when it comes to meal preparation, grocery shopping, special occasions etc.  If your Au Pair has food allergies, just make sure both you and the Au Pair communicate clearly and compromise on if they will have to make their own meals or buy their own groceries.

boyfriend and girlfriendThe last thing any family wants is to have their Au Pair pining away in her bedroom, sad because she not only misses her family, but ALSO her boyfriend.  This can be a recipe for disaster if the Au Pair chooses to go home and leaves the family without childcare.  If you find an Au Pair who admits to being in a relationship, ask lots of questions… and make sure the Au Pair is prepared to be away from her boyfriend for a long period of time.

There are many great foreign Au Pairs looking for host families in Canada.  You should never have to make concessions or sacrifices when choosing an Au Pair.  Despite how perfect the Au Pair may seem, if something crops up that brings her down a notch in your scale, then keep looking.  Consider how her habit, lifestyle or whatever it may be that you are concerned about will effect your family and how your household operates; sometimes, it just isn’t worth the headache, heartache or hindsight.

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Your Au Pair & Driving in Canada

woman driver with keys driving a new car

Are you in search of an Au Pair who can drive?  Do you need your Au Pair to use your vehicle to shuttle kids from various activities, school and playdates?  One of the benefits of an Au Pair over a live-in caregiver is that most Au Pairs have drivers licenses from their home countries.  A number of European countries have agreements with Canadian provinces offering an exchange program permitting Au Pairs to exchange their foreign licences for provincial licences upon their arrival in Canada.  Here are some things to thing about when considering an Au Pair who drives or handing over your car keys to your Au Pair in Canada:

Responsibilities and Rules

If you require your Au Pair to drive, make sure your Au pair embraces this responsibility.  This is something you need to talk with your Au Pair about during your interviewing process.  You should also include a component in your contract or Handbook on driving, expectations and rules.  Consider speaking with your Au Pair about things like texting and driving, using the GPS, drinking and driving, curfew etc…  If you do not want your Au Pair driving her friends home from downtown or elsewhere at 2 in the morning you need to set clear boundaries, after all, you want to keep your Au Pair safe and your insurance rates down!

Many Au Pairs don’t want the responsibility of driving your vehicles, so you need to be very clear if driving is in your expectations and the type of driving you require.  Driving within your community is one thing but if you require your Au Pair to drive between municipalities or drive on busy highways be honest with your Au Pair.

Speak with your Au Pair about who pays for gas.  How are you going to manage filling the tank?  Will the use of the car be for the Au Pair’s personal use, only for shuttling kids or both?  You don’t want your Au Pair disappearing for the weekend with the family vehicle (unbeknownst to you) because she misunderstood the parameters.  Be clear and spell it out for your Au Pair.  We preach good communication at Canadian Au Pair Solutions.  Good communication solves most problems between families and Au Pairs.

Judging your Au Pair’s Abilities Behind the WheelTwin Little Boys in the Backseat of a car

When you are interviewing your Au Pair ask her about her experience driving.  Most European countries (Germany and Ireland for example) have excellent licensing programs and have no tolerance for driving infractions. In other words, if you screw up, you lose your licence.  Ask your Au Pair if she has ever had her licence revoked.  Ask her if she will send you a driver’s abstract.  Ask your Au Pair if she has experience driving in inclement weather similar to what she would be driving in here.  Ask her about her knowledge of driving in Canada.  If she is from the UK or Australia, ask her is she would feel comfortable driving on the opposite side of the road… this in itself may make your Au Pair nervous.  Can she drive a car with an automatic or standard transmission?  Remember also that the vehicles in most European countries are MUCH smaller than our North American SUV’s, minivans and trucks

Not only will your Au Pair be responsible for driving safely in your car, but she will also be responsible for the occupants of your vehicle, your children. This is a huge responsibility and you want to be 100% sure that she is able and willing to take this on.  When your Au Pair arrives in Canada, you will need to take her out driving and assess her skills yourself.  You may even want to get her a few driving lessons in your community just to make sure she is comfortable driving in Canada, understands the rules of the road and is competent.

Provincial Legislation

Every province has different legislation when it comes to licensing.  If your Au Pair is from a Commonwealth country or Europe, your province MAY have an exchange program enabling your Au Pair to trade in her country’s licence for a Provincial license.  In this case most provinces require the Au Pair to present proof she has had a licence for longer than two years.  If your Au Pair is a new driver, they will likely have restrictions in Canada based on her experience.  These restrictions may include not carrying passengers which may be problematic if you require her to transport your kids.  Make sure you do your homework before hiring your Au Pair and know the regulations in your province.  More information on this topic is available through a membership with us.

How long can your Au Pair drive as a “visitor” using her home country’s licence?  Every province is different.  International Drivers Permits are useful but do not allow your Au Pair to drive indefinitely.  It is important to know that once your Au Pair has her Visa and is legally working for you, they are no longer classified as a “visitor” and rather a temporary resident.  Check with your province’s licensing authority regarding restrictions.

Insurance

You will need to notify your insurance provider if your Au Pair is going to be driving your vehicles.  Your rates will change and it is necessary to know your Au Pair’s driving history and years of experience when providing information to your insurance broker.

“Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.” 

~Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren

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